-More men thrust into Waterloos as many sex dates result in sudden deaths
By Seun Akinnawonu
When a man’s libido becomes too high to be managed at home, his side -chick consequently takes over the driver seat of sexual ride.
But sometimes, what usually appears as sexual pleasure can be a source of pain and smooth path to death whenever the going get rough and bumpy. And men are always the victims.
The spate of men’s death during consensual sex has become a disturbing development in Nigeria.
In the last one year, the social media has continued to buzz with the news of married men losing their lives while having a fling with their lovers.
In most cases, men who are victims of this trend usually fall between the age of 60 and 70, and whenever the chip is down, the women take to their heels and damn the consequence.
The death of Raji Adio which occurred in September 2019 is still fresh in the memory while his yet to be identified lover remains at large.
Late Mr. Adio, 65 had approached the manager of River Bank Hotel located in Ijora- Badia, Lagos with his lover to book a room for a short time.
Being a regular customer at the relaxation Centre, no one could have ever imagined that Adio was about to take a pleasure path to death.
According to the hotel cleaner, John Chuks who narrated the incident, it was when the woman bolted out of the hotel that he realized something terrible had happened.
And by the time he checked the room, the situation he met was already out of hand. Their regular customer was laying lifeless in his stark nackedness.
Also in September 27, a businessman, Onyeckachi Onwenu toed a similar path of death after a round of sex with his girlfriend simply identified as Chima at the Alfredo Suite Hotel located in Aguda, Surulere Lagos.
According to the hotel manager, Uche Ejinoye, the lovers had visited the hotel for a short time rest few hours earlier before his girlfriend, Chima rushed out to call for help after noticing her man gasping for breath.
But before anyone could arrive the scene, the loverboy had kicked the bucket.
This scenario was not different from that of a banker who had to lie to his wife on how he would not be able to come home due to his workload in the office. But he had a different mission entirely to accomplish with his side chick.
The bubble however burst after checking into the hotel room located in Ejigbo, when the lady, Ebere Nwanchuckwu gave a distress call to the hotel management.
Before help could come, the banker, simply identified as Ken was a dead man. He could not wait to finish the sexual workload he had on that fateful Friday.
From North to South and from East to West, cases of men who died while having sex with lovers abound across the country.
And when this happens, the women who should give accounts of what really led into the sad incident don’t usually wait to tell their own side of the story.
As awkward as it sounds to discuss, many women atributed the decision to fear of arrest.
“When such a thing happens, whoever is involved will definitely want to escape. How do you explain that a man’s friend died on you during lovemaking. It sounds horrible and since the man is no more alive to explain the real cause of his death, nobody will listen or believe any story the lady tries to tell. That is what I feel is the reason for their decision to run away.” said Mrs Olayemi Aremu.
In her own view, Mrs Tosin Afolabi, a marriage counselor noted that women run because of the shame in what they did.
“How do you explain to people that another woman’s husband died on you in a hotel. Both of them had already done a shameful thing but unfortunately, it is only the woman that is alive to face the shame and consequence of what they both did. So the best way they feel they can handle the situation is to run away from the scene.
“This is why women or ladies should desist from dating married men. Most of these married men you are seeing are not medically fit to handle young ladies in bed. Some of them cannot even satisfy their wife at home but you won’t know because their wives have no choice than to manage them. So when they meet younger women who are more active on bed, that is when there is problem and these ladies won’t understand their sexual weakness like their wives until things get out of hand.” She pointed out.
What then is really responsible for men’s death during consensual sex?
This kind of death
majorly occurs when a man has “Priapism” or the woman has “Vaginismus.” Dr. Lekan Olabiyi noted.
According to him, “Priapism” is a situation where there is a sustain erection which mostly happens when a man uses a sex enhancement medication to enable good sex.
“Use of sildenafil citrate otherwise known as “Viagra” (sex enhancement drug) by men to prove their sexual competence can increase blood pressure and when there is increase in blood pressure during sex, the man is in great danger.
“At the same time, “Vaginismus” is the muscle spasm of the pelvic floor. This is usually stemmed from emotion rush and happens when the involuntary contraption of Virgina muscle traps the penis and when this is prolong, it can lead to death.
“Also, when a man is suffering from an underlying cardiac condition such as hypercholesterol which is the blockage of arteries with fats, it can lead to death. This is the common cause of cardiac arrest for most men. It happens when the fat or lipid dislodges and travels to block the heart from pumping blood while exerting pressure on the blood vessel.
“Other causes can be heart failure, a condition when the heart cannot pump blood as it should. So when there is vigorous activities to make it pump more, it fails totally and shut down.” Dr. Olabiyi explained.
If this medical analysis could establish causes of men’s death during consensual sex, what then is the legal implication on the women who are in the centre of controversy?
Barrister Fred Emmanuel however put it straight from the legal point of view.
According to him, cases of this type are always unfounded, baseless and lack merit in the presence of law.
“In the first place, their sex romp is consensual. That means both of them were consented to the act before they embarked on it. Secondly, once the autopsy is conducted, it will reveal the health complication that led to the man’s death. And if the man was actually struck by thunderbolt which Yoruba called “Magun”, it is still not actionable because it is not scientifically provable. So I don’t think it is a case any reasonable lawyer can take up.”
Also speaking further on why women usually run away whenever such incidents occur, the legal practitioner attributed the decision to fear of accusation.
“You know it is something traumatizing. How would a woman explain to people that a man’s friend died on her during lovemaking. And don’t forget that what they were having was a secret affair.
“So if things go wrong in that way, it is natural for the woman to escape from the scene so as to avoid the immediate and angry reactions from the deceased family.” He noted.
This explanation however put to rest the question of how the police have been treating the cases of women who have been arrested so far and those who are still at large.
For instance, Chima, the girlfriend of late Onyeakachi Owenu was arrested immediately the incident happened and the police confirmed that further investigation was ongoing to unravel the actual cause of the death. Nothing has so far been heard about it.
Ebere Nwanchuckwu, the lover of the late banker was also arrested but her matter appears to have died a natural death while the sex partner who was at the center of Raji Adio’s death was claimed to be on the run till now.
Is police really aiding and abbeting?
“We charge matters to court after we must have concluded all the necessary investigations pertaining to the case. If we don’t have facts that can substantiate our investigation, we don’t prosecute suspects. What we do in most cases is to call the two families involved and ask them to settle out of court after we must have explained our findings to the aggrieved family.
“Like we all know, cases like this are hard to prove in court and that is why most of the deceased families always ask for withdrawal of case and order for their corpse to be buried peacefully. But that is after we have concluded our job.” Said a police officer who prefers to be anonymous.
As men’s death during consensual sex are becoming rampant by the day, so it is difficult to hold their lovers responsible for their death within the ambit of law.
Unconfirmed statistics indicate that at least a man dies every day in Nigeria in the process of having sex. They die in active service.
Really, the figures may be more as scores of sex related deaths, essentially in the rural areas are largely unreported. Even as many men continue to travel through the pleasure path to death, there are no indications that others are deterred.